I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
