Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
