i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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