Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When did angry sex become our thing?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
