She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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