I got chris browned last night
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
