So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
