Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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