Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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