We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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