I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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