you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
