So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish you could order shots online.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
