It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
