She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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