I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
