New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
