Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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