Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
