I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
