I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
