I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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