My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
