i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
