do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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