Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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