i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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