i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
