Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
