Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
