I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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