Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
