Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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