I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize