Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
