Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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