But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
