ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
