does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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