I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
