U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
