They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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