You can't motorboat a personality
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
