Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
