I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
