The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
