names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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