I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
