I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
