Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
