I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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