Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hippo gnu deer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
