I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
